Worth More than Money
by t3h maniac
Summary: Inside Shido's Palace, a trap causes the Phantom thieves to switch bodies. While most of them are trying to get their heads straight, Joker and Queen slip away to do nothing that Joker hasn't already done before.


**Technically a follow up to "A Billion Yen, But..." and another kinktober project that has migrated over to FFN after the four months because I have nothing else legible to post. Standard Disclaimers Apply.**

* * *

"Enough of these damn traps!" Skull yelled to the ceiling of the Ark. Shido's palace was starting to wear thin on everyone's nerves and the traps that altered them were the main component. Futaba's Pyramid having traps, that made sense. Sae's Casino rewriting the rules every 5 minutes? Annoying but it fit the theme of a rigged Casino. But what kind of mind had traps built into his own twisted desires without it even fitting the ship theme?

Floods of water, yes. Chandelier traps in the ballroom, yes. Traps that turned everyone into mice, well... okay. This? Not okay. "You got it easy man..." groaned panther from the floor, her voice muffled by the carpet "How the hell do you even run in these heels?"

"It's just a body swap trap guys, don't worry about it too much, it'll switch back when you clear this corridor." Came the voice of Oracle in their own heads.

"Well it does feel weird, I must confess that perhaps this new perspective could be an opportunity to delve into artistic frontiers." Proposed Noir as Fox behind her struggled to get his sword out of the sheath.

"Okay, so the Idiot and Panther switched," deduced Morgana, thankfully feeling unchanged "And I guess Fox and Noir changed as well?"

"I guess," came the reply from Fox. Or at least Fox's body. "Perhaps we should switch code names, so everyone knows who's who otherwise this is going to get confusing."

"Good thinking Ino-... I mean Noir! Okay people, roll call:" Oracle began "Skull!"

"Here..." said the rising Ryuji, trapped in Ann's catsuit

"Panther!"

"Here." Replied Ann, testing the weight of Ryuji's club.

"Mona!"

"I'm fine!" Purred the confident cat.

"Inori!"

"Must you still call me that..." groaned Yusuke, adjusting Haru's hat.

"Noir!"

"Finally!" Called Haru, successfully pulling the curved sword free.

"Queen!"

And there was no reply.

"Queen?" Repeated Oracle as the rest of the Phantom Thieves looked around.

"Can't see her or Joker..." Ann whispered

"Do you think we got separated in the trap?" Asked Morgana. In reality, they'd all been together when Ryuji, not used to running with heels on, or having extra weight in the front, tripped up and promptly used the time to slip away into an adjoining room, smacking an unfortunate shadow who just happened to be there in the jaw so hard he exploded.

"So what's the big plan Queen?" Came the question from Queen's body, "You know they're gonna be running around with their heads cut off without us."

"Not without heads," came the correction from the actual Queen, only just from Joker's body "Just with other peoples... that should buy us a few moments to experiment."

"Here we go..." Sighed Ren, he had a feeling what was coming next and it was something he'd already done once before. "You know, unless you're really flexible or absolutely huge down there it's rare enough to suck your own dick once, let alone twice."

"You didn't need prompting the first time." Makoto argued back.

"One Billion Yen is prompting." Ren retorted.

"Well this is for something more valuable than mere money." Makoto said as she struggled with Joker's outfit "...It's so much harder from this angle..." she complained.

"Are you saying our relationship's worth more than a billion?" Asked Ren, making Makoto look up with a sudden shock before Ren sank down to his knees, effortlessly undoing his own pants "When are you ever wrong?" he joked.

"Joker..." Makoto purred in relief, reaching a hand down to brush through her own silken locks, "...Should I be standing for this?" She asked "Normally you start lying down when I-"

"You can be," Ren cut off, peeling down the underwear "You just wont end that way..." he teased, giving his own shaft a gentle kiss, taking delight from Makoto's shiver of pleasure, reaching a leather covered hand to caress her more.

"How..." Makoto moaned as Ren continued his work "...how are you so good at this?" She gasped as Ren opened his mouth and wrapped his lips around the length.

"Mmm, mmm, mmm..." Ren hummed, his lips wet with saliva as for the second time in as many months he essentially sucked his own dick, this time with the benefit of Makoto getting to enjoy it for once. Now she'd learn why he was always so eager for one."

"Ren... Ren! REEN!" Makoto screamed, reaching down to grab fists full of hair as she thrust forward, lost in the pleasure of the damp heat inside Ren's mouth as her knees started to shake, the feeling was so alien yet so good she couldn't resist it. Her screams turned into a high-pitched whine as she came hard, shooting her load down Ren's throat, pulling backward and collapsing onto the floor as he swallowed every drop for her. "That was... wow..." she breathed as Ren crawled up beside her.

"...I assure you, you're better at this than I am. I've just got a better poker face," Ren chuckled, earning him a light hearted shove from Makoto as the two just broke into laughter.

"Thank you Joker..." Sighed Makoto as their hands embraced, a deep smile on both their faces "...You're the best."

"You too..." Ren cooed, cupping Makoto's cheek as he leaned in for a kiss.

"WE GOT IT!" Came the yell as the door to the room was kicked down, Skull looking and acting like his original mind was behind it. "Turns out all you had to do was kiss and you switch with whoever kisses... you..." He trailed off. "You uh... figured it out. I guess." He said, turning around so neither of them would see how deep his blush was.

Blinking twice, Ren looked down to see his own outfit back on... partially on anyway. Struggling up to his feet as he did up his pants he gave a quick nod to Ryuji "Uh, excellent work Skull, we were just trying that to switch back. Let's keep moving." He said, trying to regain a sense of composure as he dashed past the blushing Skull, with the equally red Makoto behind him. This was either going to be one of those things that was talked about a lot, or not at all.


End file.
